Why Meditation Did Not Work For Me Before, and Why it works now


2022 has been a year of self discovery for me. Some of the situations led me to introspect more about what I feel, how I react and what those reactions do to my mind and body. I read many books, spoke to many advisors, listened to a lot of motivational videos regarding tips and tricks to manage emotions. 

Inevitably, Mediation, as a technique to manage emotions was always on the list. As meditation is one of the main techniques, I tried it out a few times and found it was incredibly difficult for me sit still and focus on my breathing. I used to try for 5 minutes and give up. Then next day, I would not try as the earlier day I had given up.

But I what I continued to do is listen to ideas, read and talk to people. One fine day, I decided to give myself more time, a month, to fail at meditation. I decided it was ok that I felt like a utter failure n Day 1, Day 2 and even on Day 30.

Something magical happened after this. The moment I allowed myself to fail, I started noticing that I was able to focus more on the task. Once I was ok with the idea of failure, I was ok to continue and just enjoy and grow in the process. I started noticing that I was focusing more on my breathing and it was helping me to calm down. The changes were so subtle that I hardly noticed, but it was soothing and calming nonetheless.

I haven't reached Day 30 yet, but I already feel meditation is helping me to manage my emotions. 

Please share how meditation journey has looked like for you - I am looking forward to your comments.






Comments

Riwaj said…
Been practicing meditation for a couple of years. I recently went to a 10-day Vipassana retreat in KTM. Recently I learnt that the most important is to built equanimity (Samata) towards practice.
October 15, 2022 at 4:04 AM
Unknown said…
Great!! r u still in Austin?
November 3, 2022 at 7:30 PM
Pooja... said…
Completely missed this comment, I am not in Austin anymore, moved to UAE a few years ago!
June 26, 2024 at 9:44 PM
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